With time it gets life gets easier. I am sure that it is different for everyone. I don't think my life has gotten back to normal and for the most part it will never be 100% normal. As a mom, I don't think I will ever feel 100 % normal again. I carried her in my body for 9 months and that is a bond that no one unless you're a mother will have. There will a part of me that will never feel complete or whole, and always feel that there is a part of me that is missing. I just have to take it one day at a time, and think of the good times.

I feel normal now. I am not the same "Normal" Jeni I was a year ago, but that person will never be me again. When Cylis passed a part of me went with him, and even though I am changed, I am still normal. I guess having the psych education has really helped me through this because I felt normal through the whole year and through the grieving process (which I am still in). I don't think it ever feels normal to not have your child around, to not hear their laugh, or see them; in that aspect I don't think I will ever feel "normal" without him, but I know the emotions I feel is normal and that I am leading a fairly normal life as of now. There is nothing "normal" about losing your child, so in that aspect I don't I will ever feel that's its "normal" that he's not here with me, but I couldn't let it hinder living the most "normal" life I could.

It may take years. Maybe I will never feel "normal" again. I find "normal" in forcing myself through the motions of everyday life. I know I will never feel the "normal" that I felt before losing Jake. I am a different person now and my normal is also different, I guess.

I won't ever be the same. I am not the same person I was before Cheyenne died. Grief changes you and if you allow it, it can make you better, not bitter. Getting better instead of bitter is a choice we all make. I choose to get better.

After an event such as this, a person needs to redefine “normal.” If you mean how long does it take to reengage into life? It took approximately three months for me to recover from this initial shock and pain. It was almost a physical recovery. That may seem quick to some and I’m not sure I would’ve done it if I hadn’t had friends and family pulling me. Also, though, my father became terminally ill at three months after, and he passed just two months after that. As an only child, I had to support my mother. I suppose sometimes, life reengages with you rather than the other way around. I’ve seen some who seemed to reengage right away, finding a cause to fight for, or finding a needed outlet. But reengagement is not normalcy. As mentioned, you have to redefine that word, “normal.” What was normal is no more. A new normal slowly takes hold, until one day you simply realize that it is.