Ethan was a wonderful boy. He began sleeping through the night right away and was always easy to put down for a nap. He rarely cried and everyone commented on how happy he seemed to be. He enjoyed his room and was never afraid to be in his crib. I proudly showed off his room to anyone who would visit, and no one commented that a potential killer lurked there. As Ethan grew, we took all of the standard safety precautions that we knew of and even lowered the crib so that he wouldn't be able to climb out. Prior to his birth, we had heard about the dangers of "Venetian" blinds and opted not to have them in his room, but the alternative window coverings that we chose are ones that we will regret for the rest of our lives. On Ethan's first birthday, October 19, 2003, I laid him down for a nap so that he would be rested for his party. Any other day, his father or I would have remained upstairs with him until he fell asleep (usually a very short time), but we were both anxious to finish preparations for the party so that it would be perfect for him, and we went downstairs. I heard him "chatter" to himself as usual and then there was silence, so I assumed, of course, that he had fallen asleep, much like he did every other day. Little did we know that our decision not to stay with him that day, would be one that we would forever wish we hadn't made. While we thought he was napping, our first and only child, was being taken by a "silent" killer. When I checked on him less than twenty minutes after giving him a kiss, a pat on the tummy, and an "I love you…sleep tight baby doll", I found him entangled in the tie back on the curtain that was near his bed. We did not realize that he had gotten tall enough and curious enough to reach out to pull the curtain into his bed, which was about one foot away, and we lost our only son as a result. Some of the events that followed are a blur, but the others are as clear as that day. Upon discovering our son I immediately removed the tie back from around his neck. Although I don't remember, my husband told me that he will never forget my scream as I ran down the stairs to meet him. I knew that the spirit was gone from Ethan's lifeless body, but still held out a glimmer of hope as my husband performed CPR, I called 911 and he was taken to the hospital by ambulance. That hope was permanently crushed when the doctor came to us and pronounced him dead an hour before his first birthday party was scheduled to begin.
Our lives were forever changed by the events of that day. Months after his
death, we came to a realization that many questions will go unanswered in
our lifetime. We knew then that we had arrived at a crossroads. It was time
to decide which path to follow…that of self destruction, or that of moving
through life the best way we knew how, and trying our best to help others
in the process. We chose the latter and are doing what we can, even if only
in small ways, to inform others about child safety.
As first time parents we tried our best to protect our son, but will live the rest of our lives with the pain of knowing that we missed that one safety measure of key importance. We urge anyone reading this story to heed this warning and spread the word about the dangers of window blinds and curtain tie backs, so that another tragedy can potentially be avoided.
Marcy and Michael Murphy
